by ghchealth on Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:06 pm
It sounds as if you are a very busy person that constantly puts everyone’s needs in front of her own. It is very easy to find yourself in this situation, especially when you are a mother with a full-time job and full-time obligations. I think that it may be time to learn an important word: no. It is crucial to recognize that everyone else’s priorities do not have to be your priorities. That is not to say that it is not important to care for your kids and put forth your best effort at work; what it means is that it is necessary to organize your life based upon what NEEDS to get done and not simply the pressures that others heap on your shoulders.
It is very important to realize that your mental and physical well-being are very important to those that are around you, even if they are not really aware of it. The same people that tell you that your headaches are the result of hard work and your other activities would probably be very upset if you could not perform all of your duties because you were simply too exhausted. The truth is that most people do not know how to respond when a friend or loved one is in a difficult situation and they cannot help. The point here is that you cannot allow everyone to take pieces of your life; it is better to give willingly and joyfully where you can and save at least a little bit for you. Again, try to organize your life according to what you really NEED to do and realize that one person cannot do everything.
Church and your spiritual life are very important. It sounds as you take these as serious obligations. Consider what your role should be and how it affects the rest of your life. For instance, singing can be a wonderful thing and can be a release from many of life’s daily stresses. However, are you burdened by the practices and the obligations that it brings? Would you find the same emotional and spiritual release from simply singing in the congregation and be left with more time for family or yourself? Is teaching Sunday School something that you find fulfilling or is it often more of a chore? Can you be an effective teacher if you are too exhausted to be enthusiastic? Unfortunately, no one can answer these questions but you. It may be time to dedicate more time to meditation and prayer and taking time to restore yourself.
Regarding the medications, headaches, and physical pain, it would probably benefit you a great deal to work with a natural practitioner that is experienced with stress and depression. Both migraines and depression can be linked to certain neurotransmitters, chemical messengers, and may be treatable by natural means. Generally, natural remedies can take a little longer to work but have fewer side effects and are more tolerable. A chiropractor or naturopath can help to determine what herbs and nutrients may benefit you. They should also be able to evaluate the reasons for your pain and migraines. Many people with these issues also benefit from spinal adjustments. Hang in there, make a list of the things that you NEED to do, and don’t be afraid to say no when appropriate.
