Not sure exactly where to start. I'm a student in yr12 and I also study photography at TAFE. I'm not a social person, I often try and avoid social situations, and would prefer to be alone in my room. I have several friends, though only 1 close friend and I get on very well with my siblings. When around people, especially people I don't know or in public, I feel stressed and anxious. I frequently leave things like assignments to the last minute, mainly because I'm disorganised and often question their significance. I'd much rather spend my time focusing on my art because I know I want to persue that at university and hopefully as a career, thus I am impatient for the year to end. My lack of enthusiasm for school work leads to built up stress and anxiety also.
I would say that I definitely keep to myself and I rarely seek help if at all. I'm a very quiet and withdrawn person with low self esteam and I rarely show aggression, if any it would be mild annoyance. Instead of expressing feelings of stress and anger I keep it to myself, which has in the past overwhelmed me and led to periods of depression and self destructive behaviour. My mother has had fairly severe depression for several years and been hospitalised for it on several occassions.
I usually get between 5-7hrs of sleep a night, probably for more than a year now, consequently I'm usually tired and have a lot of trouble waking up for school on time, I aslo forget things easily and sometimes can't concentrate. My sleeping pattern is as it is because I spend all day around people and in social situations, when I get home I then try and spend as much time as I can to be conciously alone, sacrificing sleep to do so.
Although I'm aware of all of this, I don't know how to break out of my personal bubble or if I'm ready to, I find it easier/preferable to close the door and cope with it in peace as that is what I'm used to doing. To me, dealing with these issues envolves new people and environments both of which I'd rather avoid. If you have any suggestions, it would be much appreciated.
