Stressed Out Mummy

[Guest]

I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post it, but...

I live in Australia, I'm 18 years old and worried about my Mum, who turns 50 next year. She is a wonderful person - generous, understanding, loving, fun - you name it, she's it. But she does have a few negative qualities which are bringing her down. She can't cope well with stress, and as a result she's put on heaps of weight, is depressed, tired, energyless - just downright sad and unhealthy.

There are a number of reasons for this - my brother, who is 16, can be a total nightmare. He has acquired his father's temper and arrogance and he gives my mother hell. I know that when we go through adolescence, our parents seem to become our worst enemy, but my brother's attitude seems to be burying my Mum deeper and deeper. Every morning without fail there's an argument between my mum and my brother. My Mum does take things a bit seriously and worry about petty things like "You can't wear that" etc Some things she does/says I admit are frustrating and I can't deny that I have the occasional argument with her, but my brother is so disrespectful, explosive and arrogant towards her (and me too when he wants his own way)

I'm not asking anyone to change my brother's behaviour (although I wouldn't dispute it if it could be done!!) as I understand how he can find Mum's viewpoints irritating and that afterall, he's a teenager who wants a bit of freedom and independence, which he sometimes isn't granted. My Dad (who, yes, does live with us) is not much help as he too has a short fuse and when mum dad and the brother get in an argument, I swear the whole of the neighbourhood can hear it! Dad also tries not to get involved in arguments between my mum and brother, which frequent our household. He's tried telling Mum to ignore my brother, or my brother to calm down, like I have several times - but to no avail.

Anyway, my point here - I love my family very much and we've always been close and I'm desperate for things to change. To be honest, when my brother isn't around, it's a very calm and relaxed environment. He and my mum always seem to disagree over the smallest things. Can anyone suggest how I can help Mum rise above all this, and to manage the stress she is enduring?? She's hard to motivate, but I would feel so much satisfaction seeing my Mum a happier and more peaceful person .

Many thanks...