by sasha2627 on Thu Jun 24, 2010 6:58 pm
I've always been fairly under control of my feelings and pretty in touch with them but for the last 2-4 years I have been going in a downward spiral. I've gained at least 70 lbs, I've lost energy, ambition cannot maintain a normal relationship and I am so angry or irritated most of the time. I haven't finished my degree, still live with my family and even though i work full time I'm broke, I have debt that i can't seem to get out of. My mother and family make me feel like dirt for being overweight and not accomplishing anything in my life, i have no kids i'm not married, i feel like such a loser. However there is a silver lining in my cloud, i have an AMAZING boyfriend but lately i seem to be getting to him, we argue so much now because of my unhappiness. I love him so much, he is the one good thing in my life and i CANNOT lose him. I feel like i'm falling apart and losing my mind, i have thoughts of suicide and i don't want to be around large groups of people or go anywhere that i will see someone i know for fear that they will see how much weight i've gained and look at me funny, "like what happened to her?!" I know alot of this is because of the weight but i cannot take this feeling of sadness, and being overwhelmed, and not loving myself anymore. I talked with my boyfriend and he understands and is willing to stick it out with me and help me through this but unfortunately my family is not as supportive, they put me down and make me feel worse about myself, in particular my mother. She makes me feel as though i am nothing and says hurtful things to make me feel worse than i already do. My boyfriend only understands what i tell him but he will never truly understand me because he isn't me and he's not going through the same things. I need help and need to talk to someone else who understands and can relate, it feels good to know that there is someone else out there who understands you and can help you through your tough times. I want to be able to talk to someone without them thinking i'm over exaggerating or crazy. Please help
