by shelly on Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:53 pm
I have been battling depression for the past 19 years. I did seek professional help when I was 17, but neither the psychiatrist or the drugs (Prozac) did anything for me. I feel like my depression is getting worse, especially the past 3 years. I get very irritated by people (friends, family, coworkers) on a daily basis. I am forgetting alot of things lately. This is something that scares me alot. I am a very dependable, organized person. But as of lately, I have not been. I have been forgetting to pay bills, which I never did in my life. I am just forgetting to do a lot of things that I normally would not forget. I don't feel like I have control of the depression anymore. It is always there. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, the depression is so overwhelming. One of my major problems is self appearance. I am very unhappy w/ my body. I have gained about 30 lbs over the past 3 years, and it is very hard to loose. I have tried numerous things. I hate myself. I hate who I am. I am always trying to be somebody else. There is nothing that I like about myself. I am not suicidal. I wish I was dead, but I am not going to kill myself. I have a fear that whatever I try to do will not work, and then I have more problems to deal with. I think that the depression will eventually kill me as with any other disease. I know I need to go back to the doctor, or the depression is never going to go away. The reason I am writing today, is that I would like to know if you can tell me what "type" of depression you think I may have. This isn't even the half of it, but it is a good start.
